I have relocated twice in the past 10 years. My first move was 8 years ago, from Europe to Canada. It was a big change. I came alone and left all my family and friends behind. At first I didn’t need any friends or family around me because everything was so new and interesting and I had all these new people around me. I have made a few friends over the years and few of them I can call very good friends, almost to the point I want to call them family.
But now, 8 years later, we moved (again for me). Away from the familiar. Away from the big city. To a small town, if you can even call it a town. Once again, I left my friends behind to start over. I have noticed, that over the years, with age and knowledge and with your own personal traits and interests, it is harder to find friends. You don’t follow crowds any more and you have your own opinions.
More than ever, I miss the family connections, a motherly figure or even grandparents, with their wisdom and warmth.
I do talk to my own family online almost every day, and I value these moments very much, but not being there to watch my nephews grow up and not be able to pick them up or babysit them, is a harder pill to swallow these days. I also miss having lunches with my mom and my friends back home, who I have lost touch with. I do try to see them when I go visit every couple years, but everyone gets busier and busier, and meeting up is harder, and the conversations and closeness are not the same.
Now that I have just moved to a new town (village), one of my fears is being rejected or to come across too eager and look silly or desperate. It feels very vulnerable to put myself out there. They already have friends here and might not be open for another one.
It’s been three and a half months. We have made friends in a church group and I went to volunteer at an alpaca farm and made friends there. But now, that I am working again, it is really hard to keep up all the other engagements and I am loosing these contacts.
It has been an awesome year for me. At the beginning of this year I made a promise to myself not let anybody ruin my good mood and “dont give a fuck what others think” and I have kept my promise for half of the year. The second half, mostly. I will carry this wisdom with me because it has made me a better person and my life has taken a very positive turn.
I don´t necessarily need a huge group of people around me all the time but it would still be nice to chat and gossip with girls once in a while 🙂