Not a superwoman after all

So, this year I thought I was a superwoman…as soon as this year started!!!  I thought I could eat as much as I want, wherever and whenever I want. I wanted to be happy and eat everything and not care or worry about the calories and my weight. It has been a constant worry in my life. I was just so tired of it! Really exhausted!!!

Turns out I am just a regular human. Countless pizzas, sandwiches, chips, cookies, ice creams later I am now 8 pounds heavier and I have lost my hour glass figure and I am not able to look at myself from the mirror.

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I think it was mostly wine-s fault, I started drinking red wine every night (2 glasses usually after work) and then making bad decisions and snacking a lot. I guess we all have poor judgement when we drink. I also stopped drinking wine now…..and beer…..and alcohol all together.

I haven’t dared to pick up a measuring tape and actually write down how many inches I have gained but I would say at least an inch on my waistline, judging just by looking myself from the mirror. There are rolls everywhere.

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Like I said I have stopped looking at myself from the mirror, all my clothes look awful on me and I feel BIG and miserable. Although by any means am I not overweight (YET), even with all that eating.

I went shopping today and the images that looked back to me were horrific to say the least. I am not used to seeing me that way and I don’t know how I let it go that far. But now I know how these extra pounds are so easy to put on….and I am sure super hard to get off.

So last night I deliberately bought my last crap food dinner (almost like quitting smoking) and enjoyed it fully since from today on I will eat the healthy food that tastes like nothing. I dislike that diet food and I hate dieting. Especially with no salt or butter on my veggies which I am now restricting myself for a while.  I will do it for 2 weeks and we’ll see how it goes.

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I know it will be especially hard on the weekends but this is something I want and have to do. Two weeks might not be enough but I will continue this until I see some results. I don’t want to be super skinny, just want my regular form back! That’s it! I already have a ton of cellulite on my thighs that I don’t care about.

And I really don’t wanna make it a lifestyle although I consider myself a pretty healthy eater. But I do occasionally enjoy beer and wine and burgers and chips and honestly I haven’t eaten bad food that often but lately more than ever.

I have gained and lost that much weight before but that was 15 years ago when I was still young, now I’m 36 and I’m sure it is going to be a lot harder than back then BUT I know I can do it!

Stay strong you dieters all over the world! I will probably be posting some healthy food pictures soon 🙂

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